Today’s post include a Trigger warning as it contains triggering material for some people.
TW: Intentional weight loss; eating disorder; fat shaming; mental health; medical violence
So today I had an appointment with the orthopedist for a follow up of my fracture.
According to the X-Rays; it’s healing well. I am ready for physiotherapy. Hooray.
Then I was caught off guard by the doctor’s physiotherapist. My legs apparently form a V. Which is quite common for women. It can be increased by my WEIGHT and my WEIGHT can IN THE FUTURE cause more damages to my knees. Which are fine now BTW thank you very much.
But I should be CAREFUL in reaching an “healthy WEIGHT” because of the added pressure my WEIGHT CAN cause on my knee.
I doubt the physiotherapist had a “healthy weight” but that’s not my place to judge.
He repeated his recommendations to the orthopedist.
The minute I entered the office I felt he was ready to discharge me. Looking at the Xrays; I felt he kept dimishing my pain and discomfort. You should be fine. Only some rigidity.
And then he started talking about my weight. He felt I should be aware of the consequences. I felt judged. I felt rushed.
All the negative biases and prejudices I hold against myself resurfaced. Gross. Ugly. Unhealthy. Lazy. Lack of will.
I was experiencing a high level of anxiety. Panic attacks waving on and off. I zoned out by moments.
However now; I know better than to give them the negative thoughts a voice.
I could give all the reasons why I can’t and won’t lose weight, but I don’t have to justify myself. To anyone. I am the master of my own health.
I also like to remind that the first reason I was referred there was that a fucking CAR embraced my leg. And that my knee braced the impact like a champ. Talk about iron caps.
I am 28 years old. I have been fat all my life. I am well aware of the possible impacts of my weight on my health.
I have been reminded countless of times, read on the matters, got testimonies of the impact of my WEIGHT. I have been the target of concern trolling many times. I know!
However; while they may be well meant and genuine; they are triggering and unsollicited.
We needto reframe HOW we talk and think about the intersectionalism of health and weight.
Instead of telling me to lose weight;
You could ask me about the health habits;
Take into consideration my limitations;
Positively encourage joyful movement;
Take into considerations the possible mental state of the person and possible eating disorders; current or in the past;
Ask me what I know and what I want for my health;
Facilitates the access to services that can improve my mental and physical health if I ask for them.
Talking about weight is highly triggering to many people. It shouldn’t be something taken lightly.
Telling someone to lose weight should be the last thing you tell them.
We need to rethink the healthcare system and the way we treat fat patients. Fat shaming is medical violence and it is unnaceptable.
What he said; as a general statement wasn’t bad and he is right that he may impact my knees. A lot of others things may affect my knees. Lower weight people can also have bad knees.
Weight is a factor amongst others.
All this to say my fellow readers; don’t be that person. Don’t perpetuate fat shaming stereotypes. Rethink health and weight. Reframe them. Consider that people are the experts of their OWN health. Educate yourself. Read on health at every size. Enjoy joyful movement.
You are not define by your weight; your body shape; your limitations. You are so much more than that.
Catherine; the much cynical mermaid.