Once the sun set,
Once the silent fell,
Once his soft snoring fills the room,
The monsters come out of their shadows.
They live in this darkness I know so well.
Presences I have grown accustomed to.
Filled with anxiety, I feel manic and empty.
The lack of sleep has made me restless, helpless.
Counting the sheeps had never been an option.
Two pills tonight doesn’t even cut it.
Two pills can’t chase the monsters away.
Their voices ever growing in the chaos of the silence.
At night, the monsters dance in my head.
They tug and pull the wires.
They disconnect what I try so hard to repair
Filling my mind with anxiety and nightmares
Filling my heart with darkness and coals
Filling my body with shame and lead
They show me what I could have
What I lack and what I miss
They tell me I am not enough at dawn
Before getting their rest for the day
While I wonder and ponder
While numbness fills my body and races my heart
The monsters creep at night
They lie about my worth,
They feed my soul with doubts and insecurities.
The monster at night rest in the shadows
While my sleep deprived mind confronts daylights
It’s everlasting brightness, safe from monsters.
But they come back.
They always do.
No matter what I say or do.
At night, the monsters.